Pastoral Calling & Assignment: Learning to Read My Ministry Backward

I have not posted anything about my retirement from pastoral ministry since May 26, 2025, and that was on my Facebook page. I was hesitant to post this, especially since it might turn out to be nothing more than a personal realization, which is fine, as it has brought great resolve and satisfaction to my reluctant, turbulent pastoral journey. However, my posting this suggests that I think God may be up to something.

We shall see.

Reconsidering...

Early in December, after some devastating news that had me reconsidering returning to pastoral ministry, the Spirit gave me this verse in a dream: “A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9, CSB).

When I began considering retiring from pastoral ministry in 2024, I had understood my pastoral assignment to be a David-esque ‘shepherd-general’ calling. That is, as a pastor, I was always involved in some frontline battle at the churches God sent me to, helping correct delinquency and establishing structure for growth. I didn’t come to this conclusion on my own. As I was reading through the Old Testament during my morning devotion in Scripture, I was struck by the parallels between Moses’ and David’s stories and my pastoral journey: Moses’ reluctance with his calling, Jethro’s presence with Israel only through the wilderness and foreign lands, David’s militant tenure as general-king, and David’s desire and preparations to build the temple but Solomon is chosen instead.

I believed this intuition to be Spirit-led, as it answered why I was experiencing constant disquietness and grief while still having vision and vigor for ministry. In a sense, I came to understand my pastoral assignment as God’s “marine pastor,” sent in to do the hard, dirty work that helped break down, build up, and expand the encampment of God’s people in those churches. Of course, none of this discounts the myriad of ways God used me as a pastor during these years. Nevertheless, I was a shepherd of war (David-esque), not a shepherd of peace (Solomon-esque). Hence, as I understood it, my hands were too bloody to carry out the vision I had for a local church, which is why our church plant didn’t work and why it wasn’t working at my last pastorate, or so I thought. The Moses and David-to-Solomon comparisons helped me process and discern my loss of desire for pastoring, meaning my pastoral assignment was complete.

I do not doubt my decision to retire in May 2025. I have been at peace and unburdened since then. However, as Proverbs 16:9 says, “A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps,” I am wondering if I might have misunderstood my pastoral calling.

Reframing...

The Lord began my pastoral journey during a church crisis in 2011, and, by His grace, I helped stabilize it through pastoral presence, teaching, mentorship, and a church merger. Furthermore, every church after that, unbeknownst to me, God used my presence and skill set to help them either develop qualitatively for growth or provide calibration during crises, periods of devitalization, or transitions.

For 14.5 years, I’ve always pastored from the vision and posture of making and shaping disciples to know and serve Christ and His Body, and under the auspice that I was called to long-term pastoral ministry. However, looking back, I can see—aside from the church plant in 2013—God sent me to each of the churches where I served to be a needed specialist in ministry diagnoses, recalibration, and development. It’s possible my pastoral call was never meant to be a long-term pastor but a utility pastor specializing in church health and intervention, helping churches become calibrated (or recalibrated) for growth and fulfillment of the Great Commission in their context.

Reframing my understanding of my pastoral call aligns perfectly with my initiation into pastoral ministry and my subsequent short stints at churches (2, 4, and 6 years). In my first pastorate, I was asked to step in during a traumatic crisis and “steer the sinking ship to shore.” My second pastorate was part of a church merger, and within months, I led a diagnosis, intervention, and recalibration. In my following two pastorates, aside from the church plant, there was only ever one church interested in hiring me among the hundreds I applied to, both of which entered seasons of devitalization or transition, during which I played an instrumental role in their calibration and development.

Reframing my understanding of my pastoral call like this reconfigures my pastoral ministry experiences as an interim, transitional role—assisting churches to prepare well for God’s next season—rather than a long-term pastorate that ended abruptly. This reframing has also refreshed my view of returning to the pastorate as a ministry specialist, not a local church pastor. I no longer feel as averse to it because the role, “church health & intervention specialist: interim & revitalization pastor,” makes more sense given my experiences and skills, my passion for discipleship development, my biblical understanding of Ephesians 4:11-16, and my heart for Christ-centered local churches. I see this as a Barnabas-type apostolic ministry. In the book of Acts, Barnabas is portrayed as an apostle who was not only sent out to start churches, but also sent to churches where he remained long enough to strengthen believers and help develop their leadership for sustainable ministry (Acts 11:22-26; 14:21-28; 15:30-39). This is the specialty I can offer to churches in need.

I have no idea what will become of this, but I will prayerfully step out in faith and see what doors God may open for me to be used to help churches in need succeed in faithfully preparing for whatever God’s next season holds for them. 

“A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9, CSB)